Wait and Bleed
by Smarley
Summary: AHBL Tag. Sam was dead for three days, but his soul continued on, where exactly did it go? and what did he have to go through? Limp!Sam Confused protective Dean.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This has been sitting around for a long time and I have been pondering over whether or not I should put it up. I hope everyone likes it, its just my take on Sams time when he was dead. **

**Huge thanks to empath and macs ace who helped me through this. And of course I just don't know how to say no so any mistakes are my own. **

**Summary: Sam was dead for three days.**

**Enjoy**

The road was rough. Every dip, every bump, every rock could be felt by the younger brother who sat quietly in the passenger seat of the Impala. Sam couldn't have been happier leaving Bobby's place when they had. His need to research, to help his brother, was overwhelming.

He couldn't even think about celebrating the death of the yellow-eyed demon when his brother had only a year left. The stress and anguish at just the mere thought of losing Dean was really beginning to take its toll, his body fatiguing quickly and headaches forming on a regular basis.

He had thought it was all stress, but as much as he hated to admit it, it seemed different; ever since he'd been 'brought back' he'd felt off. His back sent sharp pains throughout his system, usually accompanied with an awful headache that rivaled a lobotomy. Not that he had had a lobotomy but he was sure the pain rivaled it.

He suffered in silence. He had gotten good at hiding things from his brother and this was no different. Dean was the only thing on his mind; he needed to save his brother. Dean was all Sam had left, and he wasn't ready to lose him, but the headache was proving to be more of a nuisance then the younger boy had expected.

Sam winced, massaging his temples, his head flaring in pain once again. Pain medication had become no match for the now-raging headache, nothing took away the stabbing sting he felt through his head, and it had gotten progressively worse over the last three days, since that night the demon died.

Sam couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew something was wrong. The way his breath came in short pants when he slept, the way a headache turned from annoying to a full assault, and how his skin was on fire…it burned from deep within, and it was getting worse.

He could feel the cool droplets of sweat forming at his brow as he fought to control his breathing. Sam could feel Dean's gaze drifting over to him more and more. He tried to hide his discomfort, but it was beginning to be too much. His muscles were cramped; they felt like they were being ripped to shreds and left to float around under his skin.

Shifting slightly, he couldn't hide the groan as it felt like his insides were trying to make an appearance. Giving up on being comfortable he rested his forehead on the cool window. It didn't stay cool for long as his body heat instantly warmed it. Trying to curl in on himself, Sam realized that it was futile to try and quell his buried chill that hid beneath his burning skin.

Closing his eyes, he fought to keep control. Feeling his brother's gaze, he sighed loudly.

"Dude, you sure you don't want me to pull over?" Dean asked, genuine worry hidden in his voice. Sam knew his brother still wasn't over what had happened just under a week ago.

Shaking his head quickly, trying to convince Dean he was good to keep going. He tried to sit up, quickly regretting the small action as his stomach turned at the movement. "Just keep going," he said, voice much weaker than he had wanted it to be.

His head was pounding as he felt the Impala turn off the road almost immediately. Opening his eyes he saw the dingy sign of the Motel "Inn on the Hill."

"Dean," he tried to protest, but his heart hammering in his chest quickly crushed his thoughts of rebelling against his brother's decision. His fingers and toes were tingling as he tried to move before giving up, his body exhausted but his mind and soul agitated, fighting against the darkness that was threatening to spill over.

"Sam, I've seen ghosts with more color than you, they move faster as well," Dean said. Sam could feel a strong hand on his shoulder; he moved towards it, enjoying the comfort, as his body sank further into the pain. His world seemed to go with it, his mind screaming to fight but exhaustion won over, his body slowly sinking into oblivion.

He wanted to cry out for Dean to not let go, but he didn't have the strength to call out to his brother who was already walking to the motel's front door.

He watched Dean go to the office, he could see his brother, but he couldn't fight the sinking feeling. He had never felt so alone, and it terrified him.

"D-Dean," he tried to call out, tried to garner his brother's attention. This was more than a cold or stress, something was wrong. A strange sense of deja-vu washed over him. He had been in this position before, and he didn't like it.

The feeling of helplessness, not being able to fight the darkness as his blood turned cold while his body burned with heat. He couldn't fight the tears that began to spill over onto his cheeks… he didn't want to fight the tears. His breath came in short gasps and he curled in on himself, trying to keep the pulsing pain from getting worse, his back was on fire, his spine felt like it was being ripped out of him. Forcing himself to uncurl he arched his back, fists pounding against the leather seats before gripping them tight, he cried out for his brother who stood oblivious to Sam's pain in the small office.

The older brother was dancing from foot to foot, wanting to get back to Sam who looked like he was fading fast. Dean knew Sam had spent the last few nights researching instead of sleeping, and he hadn't been impressed but he hadn't said anything, just ignored it as he celebrated the death of the Yellow eyed demon.

He had tried to encourage Sam to join him and Bobby in the celebration, but it didn't matter what Dean said, Sam wasn't going to stop, and now his brother was sitting in the Impala, obviously sick and in pain.

Dean couldn't help but feel a little guilty, not stopping his brother from researching so intensely, secretly wanting Sam to find some sort of way out of the deal that would leave both brothers alive and hell free. _'Selfish.' _His mind called him out, and he didn't argue.

Stealing quick glances at his brother he saw Sam struggling in the Impala, the windows beginning to fog up with the fever that Dean had been expecting. He could see his brother's outline moving, curling in on himself sending fear through Dean; he needed to be out there with his brother.

His fingers began to thrum on the desk as he tried to be as polite as he could be to the small lady standing at the counter.

"You here on business?" She asked, her frail frame shaking as she tried to fill out the paper work.

"No, no, here on vacation, with my brother." he wanted to rip the pen out of her hands and fill the paper work out himself.

"Well there isn't much to do around here. But you boys can always hang around here if you like." The lady smiled up at Dean with a small wink. Who in return repressed the shudder that ran through him. "Well don't you worry about us, we'll keep ourselves amused."

The lady just smiled, slowly picking out a key from behind the counter, "Room 23" she said, Dean took the key from her shaking hand with a small smile, "Thanks" he replied already moving to the door. His feet moving quickly, his instincts nagging at him that something was wrong.

Approaching the car his steps slowed; looking at Sam through the window taking it all in, his mind taking time to register exactly what he was seeing. He quickened his pace as his mind finally caught up, the sight of his brothers pale and pain filled face propelling his body forward, memories of Cold Oak still fresh in his mind.

He broke into a small jog, which turned into a run, reaching Sam's door he opened it slowly, feeling the heat of his brother and the small shivers that ran through his tall frame. "Sammy?"

Sam felt the cool breeze as the door opened. Strong hands held him, keeping him from falling to the gravel driveway. "Easy Sammy, easy," Dean said quietly, words that only Sam was meant to hear. "I've got you."

Sam's head flashed back to that night; Jake's cold stare, the knife on the ground, the pipe that could have ended it all, and his brother's hands holding him up before nothingness took over.

Deans familiar words rang through his head as he tried to grab as much of his brother's jacket as he could. "D-Dean," he said, tears continuing to fall as he was moved from the car. His brothers firm grip holding him up.

"Try and walk for me Sammy." Dean begged as Sam stood on uncertain legs, his body on fire, small cries of pain escaping with every small step he took. His feet dragging on the ground, moving slowly, his vision clouded he trusted his brothers guidance.

"Easy Sammy, we're almost there." Dean tried to sound confident as he practically carried Sam to the room. Sam could hear the fear, could feel the shake that had started through his brother's hands. His legs becoming more and more unstable, falling to his knees, bringing Dean down with him.

Gasping for air through the pain he could hear Dean cursing, the jingle of keys in a lock before a door creaked open. The smell of cleaner and stale smoke bombarding Sam as Deans grip tightened around his shoulders once again.

"Come on Sammy, just a little further." Sam could hear the strain in his voice, willing his legs to try and co-operate he stood slowly. His legs buckling more than once as he was moved through the room, Dean never letting him fall.

"You picked up a nasty cold there Sam." Dean grunted catching Sam once again.

The younger boy shook his head, Dean didn't get it _this, this was all the same_. Sam screamed in his head, wanting to tell his brother but the words just couldn't form, his body too weak, the pain too much for him to handle.

"D'n, please," he begged as his brother laid him down on a lumpy mattress. "I – I don't wanna…"

"Easy Sammy, just rest," Dean tried to comfort, trying to pry Sam's hands from his jacket only to realize that Sam wasn't letting go. His hands held fast, trying to grab more of the brown leather.

"Okay, okay Sammy," Dean conceded as he lay down beside his brother, Sam's current situation sending panic through his system.

"I'm not ready… I'm sorry," Sam mumbled. He didn't want to leave Dean, he never wanted to go anywhere without his brother again. But he was being dragged away, and his brother couldn't follow. Desperation began to fill him as he was dragged deeper, his brother being torn from his grip. He didn't want to die.

"Just sleep Sammy, I'm right here."

"No, no" Sam tried to look at his brother, the darkness skirting the edges of his vision, his mind losing control of his body, he tried to beg once more but no words formed as the darkness that had skirted his vision engulfed him whole.

SNSNSNSNSN

Sam fell into the darkness; it was cold and filled with despair. He was alone. His body floating aimlessly, his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest.

"Dean!" he screamed, over and over, never having wanted his brother as much as he did now.

"Help, please," he begged. The pain had followed him into the black hole that had sucked him away from his life, from Dean.

Sam cried out as his body burned, every scar he had ever gotten slowly pulling open as the darkness reached out tearing away at his body and soul. Sam could hear his skin ripping as the blood began to pour, swallowed up by the darkness that pulsed with life.

"Please, help me Dean," he begged as he continued to fall, closing his eyes, wanting nothing more than to have his brother by his side.

**AN: So let me know what you think! This story is 5 chapters long. Posts will be every three days, maybe sooner depending on how everyone likes it. Happy Holidays!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Okay so I'm posting it a day early on Christmas eve. I tried really hard to review reply to most of the people but I know I didn't get around to everyone I'm sorry. I really hope you like this next chapter. And you may leave it a little confused, don't worry, you're supposed to be a little confused, everything straightens out next chapter. **

**I really hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the first!**

**Thanks again to macs ace and empathy for the wonderful beta, and of course I just don't know how to say no so any faults are my own.**

**ENJOY**

"Easy Sammy, easy." Deans quiet words of encouragement mixed in with Sam's groans of pain filling the small motel room with an anguish that seemed to follow the Winchester men wherever they went.

Sam tossed and turned on the bed, his hands clenching and unclenching, reaching out, not satisfied until they gripped Dean's leather jacket. The feel of the cool leather obviously calming to the younger man who settled and relaxed under its touch.

Dean quickly and gently slipped out of the jacket, careful not to disturb Sam's grip. Untangling himself from his brothers body that was throwing heat from his fever, causing both boys to sweat in the small bed. Sam just rolled over, his hands gripping the leather close to his chest, not letting it go for anything as Dean moved back, taking in the scene in front of him. Not believing his brother was laying before him once again.

"Twice in less than two weeks is way too much Sammy." Dean muttered, hand running through his short hair, wiping away the sweat that had begun to form while he had laid with Sam. His mind tried to wrap around the events of the last week and a half, trying to figure out just what was going on.

Everything had seemed fine, sure Sam had been a little off ever since Dean had brought him back, but he had been okay…normal to say the least. No memories of where he had been when he was gone, no memory of ever really dying. Just white hot pain and then waking up, a little discomfort but that was it.

But now, now was completely different. Ever since the yellow eyed demon had bit the dust Sam had gone down hill, and fast.

Dean knew his brother was feeling off when they were at Bobby's, but against his better judgment he decided to not say anything, and now his brother was whiter than a three-day-old corpse, and could probably pass for a corpse if it wasn't for his shallow breathing.

Pulling a hard chair up to the small bed, Dean sat, continuing to talk to his brother who was lost in an obvious nightmare. Dean's quiet words falling on deaf ears as Sam continued to toss and turn, calling out every so often. His fever becoming more and more of an issue as time went on, the delirium suggesting it was more than high enough to warrant a trip to the hospital.

But Dean couldn't bring himself to take Sammy there, believing that his brother would come out of it eventually. Finally getting up for a cool cloth, he removed Sam's clothing, his brother's body hot to the touch, leaving him in his boxers and bringing the covers up to his chest before wiping his face with the cool cloth.

The mixed emotions of the last week began to roll once again as Sam pressed against Dean's hand. "Easy Sammy, I'm still here," he murmured, hoping it was getting through to his brother.

Memories from earlier in the week bombarded Dean as he sat at the foot of the motel bed and watched his brother struggle, the only thing holding him together was the fact that Sam had enough life in him to struggle this time. "What is wrong with you Sammy?" Dean asked, a hand running down his face. He needed to call Bobby.

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It felt like he had spent an eternity in the darkness, his body being ripped apart and left open to bleed freely into the pulsing dark. His throat was raw from screaming his brother's name, screams that did him no good, sucked in to the black abyss that surrounded him.

Suddenly it all seemed to stop, the pain disappeared the weightlessness and the bleeding stopped. His feet were on solid ground. Chancing a look around Sam was met with a crisp dream world. Standing inside a dirty old room, everything gray and dusty, "Dean?" he called as he observed the room he was in, trying to take in as much information as he could before daring to venture from his spot.

Attempting to solve what was going on as he looked around the empty room, his mind having a hard time wrapping around its current situation. The darkness, the pain, and now this, he had no clue what was going on. _"Keep moving" _screamed through his head, again the strange sense of deja-vu rushing over him. Taking in his surroundings he was confused once again.

There was nothing there, no furniture, no people, just an empty room covered with dust. Cautiously moving towards the door, he grasped the handle and turned it, the loud creak of door followed by the crack in the hardwood floor making him wince. His position in the house officially given away to any individual, supernatural or human that was currently inhabiting the small dirty house.

Sam moved down the hall with caution. The house felt familiar, its gray halls and dust filled corners making him sneeze.

"Down here Sammy." The words were a faint whisper off the walls, his brother's voice calling out to him. He moved quickly, trying to track his brother down, needing Dean more than he ever wanted to admit.

His subconscious guided him to the stairs where he finally saw his brother, standing in front of a water fountain with a crowd of people. Everyone was staring at the water, their eyes full of anticipation, of what Sam wasn't sure. Their pale skin mixing with the color on the walls, their hair holding no color the only one with any sort of complexion was his brother. Who stood out in the middle of the crowd, smile on his face, waving for Sam to join him before bringing his attention back to the fountain.

"Dean?" Sam questioned taking slow steps down the stairs, his thoughts cut short as the water in the fountain exploded upward, gray scales and massive jaws filling the room. A giant worm like creature swooped its enormous head around the small space, howling a call that had Sam covering his ears and dropping to his knees, precariously keeping his balance on the wooden stairs.

Looking down to the crowd of people that were now in a panic, the anticipation gone from their eyes, replaced with fear, their screams echoing off the walls. Dean continued to stand out in the middle of the crowd, his eyes on Sam, calling out to him, pleading for help. Sam tried to move to his brother, the creature turning its ugly head in his direction, its giant jaws filled with fangs that were stained red. Its breath putrid, the smell of death and flesh mixed in as one. Sam swore he could hear screams and pleading from deep within the creatures mouth, its past victims trapped in its body.

He didn't know what to do, the creature having frozen Sam to his spot, it screamed out again. The young man buckled once more, hands covering his ears that were now bleeding freely, watching as the creature swooped its head around the room. Taking the heads of all the patrons around the fountain, Dean included. Their bodies falling limp to the ground, the pools of blood quickly mixing together staining the fountain water red.

Sam stood wide eyed, his mind screaming to run as the creature turned, but he couldn't seem to get his legs to co-operate. The jaws facing him once again, the fangs dripping with the fresh blood of its victims, his brothers head held fast by one of the massive fangs. Sam backed away tripping on the steps and falling to the floor "Dean?" Sam said softly. His thoughts cut short as the creature lunged, its massive jaw engulfing Sam who screamed.

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The computer almost went across the room as Sam screamed, sitting up in bed, his eyes delirious as he lashed out, fighting a foe that Dean couldn't see.

He was up in an instant, trying to get his brother out of whatever nightmare he was in. Dean's cries for his brother to snap out of it fell on deaf ears as Sam continued to struggle. Not knowing what else to do he threw himself on his little brother, trying to get him to settle before he hurt himself. Dean felt Sam grasp at him, tugging viciously continuing to struggle.

But Dean didn't move, he held fast and continued to speak to his baby brother, keeping his voice even and smooth, not stopping until Sam finally settled, shutting his eyes, entering back into the nightmare he had just come from.

Dean finally released his grip on Sam as he felt his brother begin to relax again, but he didn't move. Instead settling in beside his brother, tears welling in his hazel eyes before spilling onto his cheeks. It was Cold Oak all over again, but at least this time Sam was breathing, and that was the only thing that comforted Dean as he continued to cry and hold on to his baby brother.

SNSNSN

All he could hear was screaming, people crammed into a small space, the acid of the creature's stomach eating away at their flesh. Sam could feel his skin begin to tear away, his body decomposing but his mind still sharp, still able to feel everything that was going on.

"Help!" He tried to call out, trying to find Dean in the mess of bodies. A cold hand wrapping around his neck, he struggled to break free, not caring that his skin was tearing away from his body as he finally caught sight of his brothers brown leather jacket, a jacket he could identify anywhere.

Attempting to move his way towards it, the cool hand tightened around his throat once again, pulling him away from his brother's body. He couldn't fight the burning grip that pulled him from the mass of bodies, and back through the worm's mouth. His face hit with intense heat as he hung suspended in the air.

His flesh dripping off of him as he met with pools of black clouds all moving rhythmically around him, pulsing with his arrival, their shrieks making his ears bleed.

His head snapping around to the person who held him, its human form deceiving, but the red eyes gave him away, "Welcome to hell Sammy." He said, laughing as his grip released from Sam's throat dropping him through the air, his skin on fire as he fell, landing in molten rock where his skin and muscle burned away from his bones.

He screamed, black clouds surrounding him, he could hear them mocking him in his pain before they engulfed him bringing him back into the darkness.

Everything shifted quickly, the heat and black clouds of demons transforming to a suburban backyard, rows of red-bricked houses stood in a straight line.

Sam was standing in a small, well-manicured backyard, a wooden fence making the property seem smaller than it was. Looking towards the house he saw his brother, alive, sitting at what he assumed was a kitchen table. His heart skipped a beat as he saw Jess and his mother join Dean at the small table.

"Dean?" Sam walked forward but a large hand grabbed him from behind.

"That's not your family," a sadistic voice said, stopping him in his tracks and turning him. Sam's neck felt like it was going to snap as he was turned around, coming face to face with a white haired man, his eyes pools of black. "You're home now Sammy." the man hissed, grabbing the young man's chin, turning it back to the house. "Don't miss the show," he seethed.

The younger brother didn't understand. He tried to struggle but the demon's grip tightened. He could feel the bruises starting to form. His thoughts were disrupted by a flare of orange followed by intense heat overloading his senses. The house holding his family exploded in front of his face. Sam stood in shock as the man laughed behind him. Gun shots began to ricochet through the air, people's screams sounding as more explosions went off.

Sam stumbled as a dark claw wrapped around his shoulder, the demon that had been there was now a giant mass of fur. The werewolf howled as Sam turned to run, feeling the claws rip through his skin like a hot knife through butter. He made his way through the small yard, his feet hitting the smooth pavement of the street, joining the crowds of panicked people running.

His shoulder bleeding freely as he ran, the wolf right behind him. Sam could feel the hot breath on the back of his neck, pushing him to run faster, navigating his way through the people who were being chased by men in vans, opening fire freely amongst the crowds that were scattered in the street.

People fell around him, their screams falling silent as the life left their eyes. Sam didn't stop, focused on running faster than the person beside him. He ran blindly through the streets, ducking as yet another house exploded nearby.

Crying out he felt the wolf's claws sink in once again, tearing through his back. He ignored the rip of muscle, feeling as the wolf's claws caught and pulled at the tender flesh, he kept running. Spotting a hill in the distance, his legs were drawn to it. He ran faster, harder, knowing if he could just make it up there he would be okay.

The hill seemed to go on forever. Sam wasn't sure when the wolf had stopped chasing him and he didn't care, he still had to run from the bullets that were flying through the air. His lungs felt like they were going to collapse as he finally reached the top. Falling to his knees, he wrapped a tight hand around his abdomen, his need for Dean growing strong as tears of confusion and fear began to fall.

"I didn't train you to cry," a stern voice said, dark boots stepping into Sam's vision. He recognized the voice instantly.

"Dad?"

"You need to get out of here. You don't belong here son."

Sam didn't look up, resisting the urge to find comfort in his father's presence, knowing that if he looked it would just be stripped from him. "But where is here? What is going on? Am I in hell?"

"Follow your brother Sammy, follow his voice and he will guide you home."

Frustrations built over the mention of his brother whom Sam had watched die twice now. He hit the cool ground in anger. "Dean's dead, dad! You tell me how to keep him from dying and I'll follow him home." Looking up to meet his father's gaze, he wasn't surprised to be met with a wicked grin and eyes as bright as the sun.

Finally testing his weak legs, Sam backpedaled from the threat that Dean had killed not more than three days ago. "No… you're dead."

"Surprise Sammy, I don't die, but you do. I'm kinda disappointed Sam. Thought your daddy raised you better than this."

The demons words stung, the venom dripping from each syllable, singeing his skin and burning his soul.

Sam shook his head "What is going on?"

The demon looked on, "Sam, Jake killed you, like I said, I was very disappointed. But it happens and when you die you have to go somewhere right, well seeing as you have a little demon in you yourself, that gives you a one way ticket to the big inferno. No good things you do will ever take the demon outta ya Sammy."

"No…"

"Oh yes, and now you're in my world, try and have some fun."

The gun-shots that had faded in the distance now grew stronger, panicked cries following the blows. His fathers figure disappeared as people ran past Sam, their hands clinging at whatever they could, pushing others out of the way, knocking people over. Sam just stood in his spot, the bullets winging through the air. He could hear the whistle as they soared past him, but he still didn't move. He was in hell, the demons words ringing through his head _"No good things you do will ever take the demon outta ya."_

He couldn't believe it was true, evil was a choice not something you are given, _'except for you monster!'_

All the people he had saved, all of the things he had done to make sure he didn't go dark side, all the torture he had put Dean through with Gordon they were all for naught, his destiny was etched out and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Watching as people continued to run around him, he wasn't surprised when his body jerked forward, the sharp sting of a bullet ripping through his shoulder, soon followed by more, the pain white hot as his body convulsed, falling to his knees, he welcomed the pain wanting nothing more than to fall into the darkness of Death. To end his destiny where it all began, in hell with the fucking yellow-eyed demon. But his eyes remained open, his mind continued functioning and the pain never left, this was his hell.

AN: Did you like it? I know its kind of crazy and leaves you thinking what the Hell? Literally haha. But I really hope you like it, I'll admit I'm a little nervous with this chapter. Next post will be in three days, of course I am easily persuaded haha.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: a Christmas gift from me to you, I hope it makes up for not replying to the reviews (which I am sorry about). I hope you're still enjoying the story let me know. I know it's a busy time right now but I'd love to know if its still liked. Thank you to everyone who is still reading. I hope this chapter clears things up. Any questions ask **

**Thanks to macs ace and Empath for the wonderful beta work! All mistakes are my own. **

**ENJOY**

Dean had no clue what to do. This was more than a normal head cold Sam had picked up. This was something else…it had to be something else. His fingers dialed the number without conscious thought, his mind working on automatic, the stress over his brother beginning to shut things down.

The familiar voice answered quickly, "Dean?"

It calmed him almost immediately, taking away some of the fear that had resonated in him. Bobby would know what to do. It was nice to have that figure in his life again, someone Dean could go to, someone to take the weight of the world off his shoulders every so often.

"Bobby…I…" The words didn't want to form, but it didn't matter.

"What's wrong with Sam?"

"I thought it was a cold Bobby, but now, now it's definitely not a cold. Could there be any side effects from bringing him back?" The older brother still felt awkward saying that. He could hear Bobby's deep sigh, something Dean had only heard from his father.

"Let me see what I can find."

"Thanks," Dean said before the line went dead.

That had been over two hours ago. He had called Bobby four times in that time span and had gotten a warning on where Bobby was going to put the phone if the older brother didn't stop calling; it didn't sound pleasant.

So Dean sat, his eyes sore from trying to find out what was going on with Sam. Taking a quick break, a cool glass of water in hand, he tried to get Sam to drink, not sure if any of it was actually getting in, or if it was just all dribbling down his brother's chin. Talking quietly to Sam, taking comfort in knowing that his brother may hear him this time.

"Hey Sammy, I need you to come back little brother," Dean begged, looking on at his brother who continued to sleep, looking much younger than he was.

"I can remember this one time I had lost you at the mall, you had moved so quick, you were there one second and gone the next." Dean laughed, fighting the tears. "But I found you Sammy, and I promise I'll find you this time too." Dean promised, gripping his brother's hand tight, happy to feel that his brother's temperature was continuing to drop back to normal.

Dean had contemplated taking Sam to a hospital, but as his brother's temperature began to drop he decided to wait. He could take care of Sam just as well as any hospital, and with a hospital Dean never knew what could happen, but he did know that he wouldn't be able to be beside his brother all the time, and that was reason enough to keep his baby brother with him, by his side.

The older boy watched as his brother's eyes moved frantically behind his lids. Leaning forward Dean tried to comfort and calm his younger brother, but it didn't work as the younger boy's body jerked upwards, screams tearing past his lips. Jumping in random spasms, his long limbs flailed as Dean fought to keep Sam on the bed.

Sam's long limbs proving to be too much as Dean quickly lost control, wincing as he watched the younger mans hand connect hard with the corner of the nightstand. Dean moved on instinct reacting quickly to the situation that was spinning out of control. Jumping on his brother, pinning him down the best he could while pleading with him to calm down. "Please Sammy, just wake up little brother," he cried, begging for his brother to find some peace.

It felt like hours had passed, Deans voice growing weaker and weaker with every passing minute as he continued to talk quietly to Sam, their bodies intertwined on the small bed. Sam still breathing hard, quiet whimpers passing through his chapped lips. His body finally calm against the bed, Dean moved slowly off, never stopping his constant flow of words.

Glancing around the room, he couldn't risk Sam hurting himself worse than he already had in one of his fits. He tried to move the dresser away from the small bed, only to find it securely bolted to the floor.

"Of course…" He muttered, hard calloused hands rubbing at his eyes that were heavy with exhaustion. Worry for his brother making sleep impossible, waiting for Bobby's call, his stomach growling loudly, protesting the lack of food over the last day. He couldn't risk leaving Sam on his own for any amount of time, and yet he desperately needed to get out of the room.

The small room was filled with Sam's quiet sounds of pain, it was becoming overwhelming for the older brother who had been trying to push thoughts of Cold Oak out of his head. But the memories were still so fresh, so vivid, it was hard to keep them as bay. Dean didn't know what to do, he needed to get out, just for some food, just needed to clear his head, his eyes straying over to the other unused bed.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

The fabric was soft, but that didn't sooth Dean's anxiety as he continued to work securing his brother's wrists to the small bed frame. He couldn't risk Sam hurting himself worse than he had already managed. Sam's hand had bruised instantly and the skin was hot to the touch. His brother moaned in pain and Dean wasn't sure if it was because of the pressure he was putting on his injured hand or because of yet another nightmare that was gearing up. Dean had looked the hand over carefully before securing it, ensuring that he was putting as little pressure as he could to the visibly injured hand, only happy to see no direct break in the bones.

"I'm sorry Sammy, I'll be right back" he said, hoping it would get through to wherever his brother was as he walked out the door, guilt tearing him apart.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

The water was warm, flames danced around the edges of the small pond, as his body lazily cut through the water, his long limbs making it difficult to move quickly. His heart was pounding and his mind was foggy. Not sure where he was, or why he was trying to get away.

A soft splash of water from behind caught his attention. Turning to look, the glint of the knife was the first thing he saw. The blade was long, edges serrated, and the killer's eyes were full of madness.

Sam understood why he was trying to escape now, and he didn't need any more incentive to move faster. It didn't matter though; he could feel the killer's breath on his neck. "Come on!" he urged himself forward.

"You can't escape Sam. See, you and your brother…"

Sam stopped and turned, hazel eyes meeting black, and the demon laughed.

"Did I hit a sore spot?" the woman asked, a smile playing at her lips, tongue running across her teeth, "See, you and your brother, you hunt us up top. But down here, down here is a whole new ball game sweet cheeks. We get to hunt you."

Sam could feel his anger begin to bubble and rise lunging forward. He could feel the pain of the knife tearing into his abdomen, but he didn't care. Raw rage taking control of his adrenaline, he moved with the precision his father and brother had taught him. Feeling the knife penetrate his chest, the sharp pain of the serrated edges pushing through his soft flesh, its edges grabbing at every inch of skin it touched. Pulling muscle and tendons from his body as the blade pulled back.

Screams curdled from within, bursting past his lips; he didn't dare stop his attack, he couldn't stop. Maybe if he fought back he could be with Dean, be brought back to his brother who was waiting for him.

The thought of his brother urged him on further. He finally managed to grip the hilt of the knife, twisting it from the shocked demons grip. He didn't waste any time.

Turning the knife on the demon, the blade sank into the body. Sam twisted it before ripping it out, repeating the actions over and over. The demon's black blood spilled into the water, mingling with his red blood that continued to flow from his body. He didn't stop until the demon's body sank into the water, its eyes wide, the black holes having faded as the figure sank further into the water.

Standing in the water, gasping for air, the pain in his chest caused him to hunch over. Loud clapping sounded from the shore; he didn't have to look to know who it was.

"Where is my brother?" Sam gasped.

"The real question is, where are you, Sam?" The man laughed and Sam couldn't help the tears of pain and frustration.

"I've got to say Sam, I'm impressed. Killing a demon on our playing ground, now that's the boy Johnny raised for me."

Sam sputtered, tasting the copper that stained his mouth. "Fuck you!" He tried to move towards the man, knife still in hand, but his injuries were too much to handle, his body falling under the water. A heavy foot was placed on his chest and he struggled, clawing at the foot, calling out for his brother as his lungs filled with water.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

He had been gone for ten minutes, ten of the longest minutes of his life, ten minutes where he could forget any of this was happening. But it had all come crashing back as he opened the door seeing his brother tied to the bed, he quickly undid the knots that held him. His heart tearing that he had actually done that to his brother, knowing that it was a necessity didn't make it hurt any less.

Watching his brothers head roll from side to side in his disturbed sleep, his heart skipped a beat as the shrill ring of his phone disturbed the silence. Bobby's name flashing across the screen

Dean had felt his stomach drop at Bobby's words over the phone as he walked around the small hotel room, his own personal hell.

"Sam died and he was dead for three days before you brought him back. I've been talking to a few contacts who've heard things. They're saying that when a person is brought back in the way Sam was, there are some complications that arise."

"What complications? I made the deal, he's supposed to be fine."

"Did the demon say that? Or that it would just bring Sam back?"

"Dammit Bobby, I can't handle this, he's supposed to be fine!"

"Boy, get your head together, your brother is going to be fine, but after being dead for three days, who knows where your brother's soul was. He may not remember, but there's a pretty good chance his subconscious remembers. He'll come out of it. Just keep talking to him, you'll bring him back."

The news hit hard, his younger brother was trapped, and there was nothing he could do about it, so he sat, like he had four days ago. Sam was as white and frail as he had been before, but at least he was breathing. Dean talked, waiting for his baby brother to wake up, and praying for him to find his way home.

"Sam, I remember this 'camping trip' Dad took us on once. You had been so excited; you thought it really was just a camping trip." Dean laughed at the memory, hand running through his short hair.

"You were what? Twelve. It was the only way you'd go. It was the first time Dad really lied to you about what we were really going out to do… I knew about it. Do you remember that one Sammy?" Dean laughed once again, a small sob sneaking out with it as he waited for his brother to answer.

Receiving no response he carried on, "I tried so hard to give you that normal camping thing, Smores and all. But that big head of yours was never filled with air. Man, were you ever pissed when you found out."

Reaching out, he squeezed Sam's still hand. "When you wake up, we'll go camping Sammy, really camping."

Slight pressure on Dean's hand had the older boy standing. "Sam? Sammy?" His heart skipped a beat, the thought of Sam waking up giving Dean hope that his brother was okay.

He could see his brother's eyes moving underneath, unsure of whether it was a nightmare or Sam finally waking, Dean kept talking, pleading with Sam to just wake up.

Sam's eyes snapped open; Dean smiled down at his brother hoping to see that familiar look staring back at him, but his joy short-lived as he saw the delirium living in the hazel eyes that looked up into his strong gaze. Dean squeezed his brother's hand tighter as Sam called out for him.

"I'm right here Sammy." Dean tried to get Sam to focus, holding a hand under his brother's neck, trying to get his brother to steady his gaze on him. "Sammy, I'm right here, I didn't go anywhere."

But Sam couldn't hear him, couldn't see him, he was still trapped in a world where Dean couldn't follow.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSN

The water burned his lungs, sending spasms of pain throughout his body as the foot pushed him harder into the ground. He could feel his ribs snapping under the pressure, the dirt from the bottom of the lake swirling around him. Black spots dancing in the dirt, Sam tried to struggle, his arms flailing, his lungs taking in more water.

His eyes focused on the black spots that floated in the muck, attaching to his skin… leeches grabbing on to every inch of him. He struggled harder, feeling the leeches invading his body with every gulp of water that entered him. He could feel them under his skin and in his lungs, floating in to his mouth as he screamed for Dean, his cries falling silent in the water.

The foot suddenly released him and he moved quickly, breaking the still water. His hands shot up to his mouth, the leeches gone, as he gasped in as much air as he could.

His ears perked. _"Sammy…"_ whispered through the rustling trees. "D-Dean?" His voice was filled with defeat and exhaustion.

"Sammy I'm here."

He could feel the cool touch that ghosted over his forehead, and he tried to lean into it before it disappeared "Dean… help me."

**AN: Hope you liked it and it cleared things up Let me know! Reviews are love, lots and lots of love.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Sorry for the delay, work started back up again and well. Work is work, and it pays the bills and therefore wins. I hope people are still enjoying. This is a little graphic chapter. And remember this is set right after season 2 finale. Let me know what you think : ) **

**This chapter is for macs ace, who is a darling person who I wish all the best to! Thanks to macs ace and Empath for giving this the once over and as always, mom never taught me how to say no so all mistakes are mine.**

**ENJOY**

Dean's heart broke at his brother's quiet plea. He didn't know his heart could break any more than when Sam had actually died, but Sam was always bringing out new levels of emotion in him.

"I'm trying Sammy. I'm trying."

Holding his baby brother tight, Sam's back against his chest, he never stopped his steady stream of encouragement to help get Sam out of whatever prison his mind had trapped him in.

It had been an hour since Bobby told him he just had to wait it out. One long hour that had Sam muttering and calling out for him.

"I would have made the deal sooner if I'd have known this would happen," Dean said, his voice choked with emotion, his eyes red, and his body exhausted as Sam began to call out once more.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam's eyes snapped open, once again nothing ever stayed the same, his settings constantly changing, his body always resetting.

His skin fresh, free from any marks that had marred it, but the pain held fast under the soft flesh, never letting him forget what had just happened.

He stood in an open field. One large red-bricked building stood in the middle, large tornadoes surrounding the edges of the open field, threatening to spill over. The wind whipped through his hair, debris flying through the air every so often. Sam ducked it easily, terrified of the tornadoes, not trusting that they would stay where they were.

Sam moved cautiously towards the large building, the green grass of the field quickly changing, tainted red, the same color of the brick that dressed the large structure that loomed ahead. He could see the lumps of objects in the distance. Stepping closer he saw them move, the fingers curled, blood dripping as they moved.

He continued forward, side stepping around the people who lay on the ground; their bodies were torn up, their eyes begging for help, hands grabbing at Sam as he passed by. He looked on, horrified, watching as Demons, their eyes void of any life, lifted bodies from the ground, dragging them to the large red bricked building. They tossed the bodies carelessly inside.

"Priority first," a voice gurgled from below. The man's eyes were wild as he laughed, blood pooling over his lips and dripping to the ground, his legs missing. Sam backed away. The man followed, dragging his torso. "You can't win, they always get you. It's better just to give up now Sammy."

Sam's heart was in his throat, looking down at the 'man' that was speaking to him from the ground, the lower half of his torso missing. Sam wheeled back stumbling over more grabbing hands, he caught his balance before he fell.

The man just laughed dragging himself closer. "You can't win!" the man screamed as the demons came for him. Picking him up from the ground, blood flowing freely from every orifice of the man's face, they carried him away, his laughter resounding through the air.

"What the…" Sam couldn't finish his thought.

He was still moving back and as his feet caught on a large figure, he stumbled; his arms were wind milling, desperately trying to correct his balance. It didn't matter; he fell hard, the ground coming up quick, a spot seeming to have cleared just for him. Hands instantly groped at his body, coating him with foreign blood that singed his clothes burning his skin.

"No, no, no," Sam begged, frantically trying to bat the grabbing hands away. But they held firm, planting him to his spot. Pain pierced through his body, every injury he had gotten ripping through his skin. He tried to call out but his teeth shattered and fell from his mouth. The white mixed with the red on the auburn ground, the pain radiating through his system.

The crazy look he had seen on so many of the faces as he had walked through the field slowly embedding into his eyes, the crazy look of fear and desperation.

Moaning in pain, he looked up to the sky and struggled to breathe through the blood that filled his mouth and spilled over the edges.

Watching as more people walked through the field of dying souls, Sam tried to grab at anyone who passed close by. He just needed help, why didn't the people get that he needed help?

He tried to yell, his voice gurgled, the smell of blood, pain and terror filling his nose and tainting his soul.

"_What am I supposed to do?" _Came booming through the sky, his brothers words shattered his eardrums, Dean's panicked voice filled his head, repeating the saying over and over.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam was getting worse, his body enduring a torture Dean couldn't see, and that tore at Dean worse than actually seeing it. At least if he could see it, he could stop it.

"What… to… do," Sam muttered tossing once more.

Dean held him close. "Easy little brother."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSN

It felt like an eternity of pain and waiting. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for, but there was little else he could do.

Dean's voice continued to echo through the sky, the endless chanting of _"what am I supposed to do" _resoundingover the moans of pain stirring the restless bodies that lay scattered around the field who began to chant in rhythm with his brother's voice.

Sam tried to move, his hands felt like they were going to snap with the weight he placed on them, but their pain is nothing compared to the pain in Deans voice. Sam had to get to his brother, had to help him.

Dragging himself forward, his heart beating a little faster. He could ignore the pain in his hands, but he couldn't ignore the feeling that his lower half was slowly being left behind with every inch he moved forward.

His body was already starting to rot, the force of dragging his bleeding and broken frame quickly leading to his upper body detaching from his lower body, his torso following his forward direction while his legs lay still and motionless, left behind to continue to slowly decompose into the ground.

The sickening feeling of losing his legs was enough to stop his forward motion and backpedal to where his lower half lay, hoping against hope that maybe he was just imagining it. That his legs were not just detaching from his body.

Looking at his motionless lower limbs his arms struggled to keep him supported, finally snapping under the pressure.

Sam cried out, falling to the ground turning onto his back, arms in the air, the bones having snapped through the skin.

Shaking with pain, the blood flowed freely from his eyes, mouth and nose. Looking up at the dark sky, his brother's voice had faded, replaced with the moans and cries from other poor souls who tried to walk through the field of the dead and dying.

Sam had long since given up trying to talk, his mouth filling with blood every time he tried to open it. His tears tainted red as he cried, wishing for his brother, not wanting to accept that Dean wasn't coming for him. '_Holdonholdonholdonholdon,' _he chanted.

Loud footsteps drew his attention. The demons were walking through the field once more; they walked closer to Sam, who just shook his head as large hands grasped him. Lifting him from the ground, his legs stayed where they were, slowly detaching as he was lifted higher, his head snapping back, having no strength to hold it up. He was just glad that it didn't fall completely off.

A gentle hand lifted his head, supporting it. His eyes searched out the source and he saw his brother's figure standing over him, moving him slowly.

Sam tried to call out to him, blood pouring out as he moaned. It was enough to garner his brother's attention, but Sam wasn't sure he wanted it anymore. Pools of black stared at him; his brother's gentle features couldn't disguise the demon that was now in him. A laugh resounded from the other figure that carried Sam to the red-bricked building.

"Your brother's soul is ours now, Sammy."

Sam shook his head, trying to struggle, cries of pain cutting through the dark night; his brother's hand quelled his movements as they reached the building. "Just come back to me, little brother," Dean pleaded, a sad smile decorating his pale lips as Sam was thrown in, his brother the last thing he saw before darkness took over once more.

**AN: Hope you liked it, let me know, I'll try and have the last chapter up by Friday, the latest Saturday.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Final chapter, its pretty short sorry. It's the original chapter that was supposed to be posted ages and ages ago. Better late than never right? Maybe. Well I hope you like it. The final chapter of what I think Sam went through when he died in cold oak. **

**ENJOY**

His world was brought back, his senses sharp as his eyes snapped open. The pain was gone, his body in one piece. Dean was gazing down at him, his arms holding him tight. "Sammy?" his brother asked gently, his eyes begging for Sam to answer.

The younger brother nodded, not having the strength to form the words to let his brother know he was okay. Shutting his eyes the thoughts of where he had just been on the tip of his tongue, memories of what had happened skirting the edges of his thoughts before his mind clicked in slowly shutting the thoughts away, making it impossible for Sam to remember what he had just seen. Licking his dry lips, a cool glass of water was at his mouth, tipping forward. The cool liquid splashed in his mouth, making its way down his throat and into his waiting stomach that growled in hunger.

"Sammy…?" Dean asked once again. Sam could hear the fear in his voice, not believing that it was Sam sitting there, that he was actually awake. Dean's voice reminding Sam of when he had first seen his brother in the cabin at cold oaks, after he had woken up.

"Y-ya I'm, I'm up," he whispered, his voice hoarse, not complaining when Dean held him closer. Sam could feel the soft drops of his brother's tears in his hair; he didn't say anything, knowing Dean needed this moment.

"Welcome back little brother," Dean whispered into his hair. Sam was glad to be back.

THREE DAYS LATER

He knew it pissed his brother off that he didn't take any time to rest, but he didn't have time to rest. He already missed out on several days of research, he couldn't afford to miss anymore…Dean couldn't afford for him to miss anymore.

Flashes of his brother with black eyes sparked in his mind, the all too familiar feeling that he had seen it before washed away with his renewed energy to search faster and harder.

Sam remembered very little. The thoughts were there, somewhere, every time he thought about it his stomach would sink and his heart would speed up, but he couldn't remember why, and he was pretty sure he didn't want to remember why.

"Sam, please take a break from the computer," Dean pleaded, exiting the washroom, a trail of steam following in his wake. His hair dripping as he ran the towel through it, standing it up straight before combing his fingers through it and taming it once again.

The younger brother looked up, not having to look at the computer to type. "I will in a bit." He hated making promises he knew he couldn't keep.

"I'm sure you will," Dean sighed, falling on to his bed, remote in hand. It was a Sunday night and nothing interesting was on any of the channels, not even a good movie. He could hear the furious typing on the keyboard; his brother had been at it since he woke up. Sleep only came to him if he happened to fall asleep at the computer.

With every hit of the key, every snap of his brother's knuckles, Dean was starting to lose it. "For the love of all that is holy! Sam, enough."

The clicking finally stopped and his brother looked over. "Dean."

"No, there is no getting out of this one," Dean said, getting up from the bed, making it across the short distance of the room in record time, snatching his brothers computer from his grip. Sam's reflexes were still slow from all that his body had been put through in the last week and a half.

Holding the computer up, careful not to look at what his brother had been typing, Dean snapped it closed. "Enough Sam, I get it okay. I really get what you're trying to do, but let's get this straight. As long as I'm still here I'm the big brother. I know best…"

Sam opened his mouth to argue, his brow furrowing in displeasure of Dean's rant. "No, don't think about opening your trap, enough is enough. We are taking the night off; no computer for the rest of the night." Dean knew his voice was beginning to waver by the end of his rant, his emotions coming through, if Sam noticed he didn't say anything.

"Fine. Night off, no computer," Sam agreed. Standing up, he took his computer from Dean's grasp. "Let's go to that bar across town." He suggested, knowing his brother was at his breaking point, having been through his own hell in the last week and a half.

"That's more like it," Dean agreed, gathering his jacket, smiling at his brother, glad Sam was finally listening to him about taking a break. Not wasting any time, throwing Sam's jacket over to him before his younger brother could change his mind, he walked out the door.

Sam smiled, following his brother out, not hesitating as he grabbed an old book he had found at Bobby's place and tucking it into his jacket. Dean had said no more computer…he didn't say anything about books. Reaching the car door, he held on to hope. He could do this.

**AN: Eeeeppp I hope it was okay. I'm not going to make any promises but hopefully posting stories will occur more often! Lots of love, let me know what you think!**


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